The Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton - The Mountain Goats
In which I begin my cover of The Mountain Goats’ classic album All Hail West Texas. In which I am terrible at guitar because I’ve been playing for all of a month and a half. In which I cut my strumming finger on the guitar strings, thus unintentionally making a blood sacrifice to Satan.
Q:Pictures are phenomenal. Judging by your video blog channel as well you have widespread interests. I am curious about what is your career aspiration and what is your age? And how do you gain enough confidence in yourself to put videos on the web where anyone can see them. I would like to start a vlog but I worry that others would laugh at me. Have you ever experienced this or rejection in any form and how did you get over it?
Thank you so much for the kind words, they are particularly well-timed (see next paragraph)! I’m 23; I graduated from college this past spring thinking I was going to be a high school music teacher but that’s not really holding my interest at the moment. I love music and I’ll be involved with it for the rest of my life, but as a performer rather than a teacher, which is the complete reverse of what I imagined as little as a year or two ago. Currently thinking that I want to open a coffee shop in a few years; I love love love the coffee shop environment, and there are so many opportunities to tie that all in with music, photography, and other things that I love. I don’t want my focus to narrow too much, you hit the nail on the head when you guessed I have a broad range of interests. I want to keep being creative in a bunch of different ways, and I always want to be learning something new; those are my biggest priorities, and hopefully my eventual career or source of income will involve these things, or at the very least will allow me to pursue them separately.
My photography has hit a rough spot lately. I had my first ever paid photo gig a few months ago and it went horribly wrong (through no fault of mine, but I still feel bad and embarrassed about the whole situation), and even when I’m shooting on my own time I’ve been making a ton of mistakes that should be well in the past by now. Confidence is at an all-time low, and as a result I haven’t found any inspiration while photographing, which comes right back around and lowers my confidence. A vicious cycle, for sure. Vlogging has hit a road block as well, I’m struggling to find the mental energy that I need to plan, shoot, and edit videos on a regular basis. It’s wayyy outside my comfort zone for me to put myself in front of that camera and then put my words and ideas and mannerisms and face on youtube, it’s hard work, emotionally. I definitely worry about if/how I’ll be judged every time I post a video, and I feel the same fear when I perform music in front of people (even though I’ve been doing that for half my life) and when I take my camera out in public to shoot some photographs.
As for getting over it… positive self talk is what usually works for me. I remind myself that if even a handful of people like what I film/play/photograph, that’s enough for me. I have a whole series of silly but effective motivational phrases that I throw out to myself as often as I can. I re-named this past September “Adventure Month,” so taking my camera out in public was ok because I was on an adventure and adventures are more important than strangers’ opinions. Stuff like that. Thinking about doing whatever I’m scared of doing, before I’ve started doing it, is always always always the worst part for me. Once I can power through the nerves/worry (easier said than done, of course) and start actually doing something, it’s a lot easier for me to keep doing it because I remember how much I like it! And since my friends make up the vast majority of the people who see/hear anything I perform or post online, reception is usually very positive. And by reminding myself that my friends’ opinions are really the only opinions that I want to care about, it makes negative responses a bit easier to deal with. I don’t know if this was even remotely coherent, I hope I addressed what you asked! Feel free to follow up if I missed anything!